Now, apparently you can become addicted to anything. Expensive shoes. Fast cars. Salt. Sugar. Money. Caffeine. Sex. Porn. None of these things are very bad, unless you can't control your consumption. Anything is bad when it is out of control. From a screwdriver to a government.
This web site started many years ago as a cute hobby project. It was not meant to be commercial, and it was certainly not meant to be therapeutic. But when you get a chance to make a difference in people's lives, it is a great gift, and we accept it humbly.
Letters to Domai
We were always high in sexual need. Both I and my wife are high maintenance sexually. We both need it every day and sometimes more. But in all honesty we were never at a place where we could say we had too much. We were open to anything and everything with each other.
We happened to meet with a couple we have known on and off while on an outing and we were invited into their home. The conversation turned to sex. We were comfortable with the discussion and found that they were very open and were of high demand sexually too. Very similar to us. So we thought maybe we are not so out of the ordinary in our need for sex.
This first time was an enjoyable time so we agreed to meet the next Friday evening.
The discussion flowed into ways of sexual maneuvers and positions. And then they suggested that we watch a video on ways to enjoy sex. Well it doesn't take much imagination where this led us. I was hotter than hot and my wife was steaming. We noticed the other couple going to it so we joined ourselves together. It led to what they called tag sex. Just like if you are dancing, you tap the shoulder of the next person you wish to dance with. This was our first swap meet.
They gave us a number of videos for us to watch at home. When we returned home we talked about it and found we were so hot that we barely noticed we had changed partners. We found they added a new dimension into our sex life.
We met with them again as we felt it was okay with each other adding to our sex. The fourth time about two months since the first time, we arrived to find 2 other couples had joined the group. This time the video was porn. This was our first snake sex, or group line sex. Over the next number of months it went from foursomes to as many as 20 people for whole weekend orgy.
After these encounters, and watching porn videos, we felt we were - well now I know what it was - being programmed or sucked into a lifestyle of which there was no satisfaction.
It was sex and only sex - it no longer mattered who or how. Try and satisfy that insatiable thirst for more and more.
This is where I got into porn on the web.
But still even as it became two or three at once, still no satisfaction.
Then one night my wife says while we were in bed, "we are absolute animals. We are sick - we need help."
My wife heard of a counselor who might be able to help us through another friend who was involved at a local church and they had been helped. I remember thinking no one will be as bad as us. This guy is going to be in for the shock of his life. A church guy, what a joke.
We met Richard with fear and trembling wondering what is going to happen now. After we haltingly told of what we were needing help for, he says I know exactly what you are talking about as in "I have been there done that."
We went through a number of sessions working as a family and individually. In the initial days I learned this guy is nothing like any church guy I have met. We relaxed and started to get into the guts of our problems.
In this process Richard led my wife to DOMAI. He had wanted her opinion on the site.
One night we were home and my wife says "I want to show you something I have found."
Before this I had been noticing a noticeable change in my wife. The biggest change was in her attitude but there were subtle changes in her appearance. I was seeing her as my university sweetheart with her hair styles and even her dress. I thought Richard is getting to her. I like it.
So she introduced me to DOMAI. We sat there together as she showed me gorgeous girl after gorgeous girl. I was amazed that she was encouraging me to look at these pictures. We looked a lot at the site, and it even inspired our sex life and affection for each other.
Still, I was programmed into a way of needing satisfaction - physically. Even as I was looking at these gorgeous DOMAI girls I was doing my porn cruising.
But you know what, I was not enjoying it. I found I was comparing the women of porn and DOMAI. I too noticed I was spending more time at DOMAI.
DOMAI was doing something to me that I couldn't figure out.
One thing I did figure out, was that I had a gorgeous wife too. I was starting to do a comparison here too. DOMAI girls are young and fresh, but I soon figured out my wife could stack up to these too.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was how I was looking at the girls. I realized, I had been programmed that a woman was a sex object. You get a girl friend to romance, why? To get into her pants. You do it and you move onto other ventures of sex. But I have conquered this woman, so I start looking for other peaks to scale and valleys to plunge into. And with porn it is a conquest to hit every one you can in any and every way imaginable. But never satisfied.
DOMAI presents women in a way where I soon realized, these are different somehow. I began to realize my attitude was changing. My wife in a time of discussion, which Richard encouraged that we openly admit to each other our thoughts of people we are passing by on the street, mall etc.
Earlier on, both I and my wife would comment about the other sex especially when we were involved in group sex as how he or she would be a great sex partner.
First we noticed we were not doing this. Then one night I said to my wife, "you know something - I never realized just how beautiful you are. I have let sex be my guide instead of love."
The next day we were out walking and I began commenting about women we were passing. My wife stopped and was looking at me with this huge smile, and she says, "do you realize what you are doing?"
I felt a sudden pang of guilt thinking I was doing something wrong. She says "you are commenting on the beauty of these women. Even when we passed that young woman (who looked like she came out of DOMAI) you said how beautiful and fit the girl was. You have been talking positive for a couple of weeks now. So what's up?"
I said without any thought, it is DOMAI. After being on that site I have not the slightest desire or the need for porn. I went to what used to be my favorite porn site about two weeks ago, and it made me physically sick. She says, "I remember that night, I said do you think it could be food poisoning. I said it is probably a poisoning, but not food you eat, but food you think."
Today as I am putting this together, thanks to my wife for typing it, I know without a doubt that DOMAI was a strong influence in setting me free from not only porn, but my thought pattern towards women. I can say that my love for my wife is stronger than ever and it is getting better every day.
And without Richard and his guidance, who knows where we might be today.
---- I (his wife) want to say that I think DOMAI has a hidden potential to set woman free to be themselves. Sex is nothing new. But the attitudes to sex and women has to change. And it is not going to happen by the government or the church.
It will happen as you and I see ourself as the woman God intended when HE created us. There is no right and wrong when it comes to a husband and wife loving each other. There is a wrong when I or my husband do it for self-gratification.
We use to have sex at least twice a day on most occasions and still wanted more. Today I can openly confess that I and my husband can go a week in between having sex, and when we do, it is absolutely satisfying, in fact more fulfilling than the other 7 days put together. And I will add too, more satisfying than the other 14 people together of our former sex group.
Dean and Kathy