Letters to Domai
When I first met my wife I think I melted immediately. I immediately knew there was something special about her. Yes, she was physically beautiful and sweet & charming, but that wasn't it. Her beauty ran a lot deeper than just her appearance. I wasn't special, with extraordinary perception, allowing me to see into her true being or anything like that. Everyone could see it.
It's her birthday today and I'm looking for a worthy present. Right before we got married I had a star (as in the sky) named after her and I told her something romantic to go along with it. That present went over really well and, pretty much, I don't think I'll ever be able to top it. Luckily for me, she & I are not very "present-y" people. When I asked what she wanted this year, she asked for something thoughtful, not necessarily costly. I thought, perhaps a letter explaining what it is about her that is so special. I find myself stumbling putting this into words. It's hard to describe beauty, I think, because we all take it for granted. Not necessarily in a bad way; but when someone experiences beauty they are accustomed to enjoying it, not analyzing it.
The best, most concise words I can find to describe her are: Perpetual Innocence.
The more I contemplate this the more I think that it really fits her. Some might call that innocence naïvety. And many friends would lovingly describe her as naïve. There are times friends have jokingly convinced her of things most "normal" people would find ridiculous. This isn't accomplished because she is unintelligent. She's very intelligent, always earning high marks in school and receiving nothing but praise in her professional life. She can be convinced of ridiculous things because the thought that someone might be trying to trick her or not tell the truth seems almost utterly incomprehensible; it doesn't enter into her mind. I always found this very interesting because in certain situations she sees right though untruths; even when they are told by a person who is lying to themselves. It's almost as if she can see what is truly in their heart and what their intentions are. Perhaps this contradiction comes from the fact that there is no malice when friends joke with her and convince her of ridiculous things.
So yes, I'd say she can be naïve sometimes and that might add to her "innocence," but that's not it. There is no hardened toughness to her. That's not to say that nothing bad ever happens to her. She has bad luck every once in a while. But it seems that anything bad doesn't really register with her for long enough for it to affect her. As most people go through life and gain experience they become somewhat develop a toughness to things. That's normally a good thing, many times synonymous with what we call "experience." Like anyone else she is gaining experience in life but somehow she does it without becoming accustomed to the bad in life and developing a cynical attitude. I myself am a very cynical person, that's my defense to the world. She doesn't need a defense; it's as if she exists in her own world. While not really negative, a simple example of this is that I can tell her that I am going to scare her. I'll wait a couple of minutes and yell, "Boo!" She jumps as if she didn't know it was coming.
I suppose that her huge puppy dog eyes add to her innocent look. But that's not it; she really carries herself with an air of innocence and her actions seem infused with it. She can dress provocatively and she just sees her attire as "cute." She rarely ever wears a bra and this action would be considered by many provocative. I have, of course, seen her in a bra and it looks so unnatural and binding on her.
She used to have a jacket that had, "Instructor of Sexual Activity" written with rhinestones on the back. When she wore it only made her look more innocent. That might be because she is Japanese. The Japanese seem to love the English language and often use it as decoration; but they don't always completely understand the meaning of the words. Of course she is not virginal, but sexuality has nothing to do with her innocence. I myself have a bias assuming that sexuality and innocence are somewhat conversely related. Her body can definitely inspire lascivious thoughts but that in no way detracts from her innocence. She has shown me that, without a doubt, sexuality (in and of itself) doesn't have anything to do with it.
She does not act with hidden motives. I'm not sure she could hide them if she so desired as they are always plain to see. She is as open with her actions as I've seen. Somehow this allows her to easily start conversations that would make most people uncomfortable. And she does this not only without anyone becoming uncomfortable but leaving them wondering why they thought such a conversation might have been uncomfortable in the first place.
I think that all young girls have these qualities that make up innocence. And as they start to become women they lose those qualities in that they stop expressing them. Perhaps that's a good description of a Pretty Young Girl: a beautiful woman who exhibits the qualities of innocence. The label PYG likely includes the word "young" because it is most common for these qualities to be expressed while she is still young, before they have become hardened to the world.
My wife might have superior Asian genetics and a healthy lifestyle keeping her body looking young, but it's her ability to stay so innocent in this world that will keep her a Pretty Young Girl well into old age.
I mentioned earlier that I wasn't special in seeing all of this in her. I do feel special and very lucky in that she chose me to marry. Where normally one can only experience this on a young girl as she moves from "girl" to "woman," I will be able to experience it always. I can only hope that some of this will rub off on me.