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Letters to DOMAI


Just an interesting observation:

I've never been much into porn, but I used to look at it occasionally. I also visited DOMAI several times a week.

Recently I've been on cancer medication that has the unfortunate side effect of completely eliminating my libido. I have no interest in sex whatsoever (fortunately it's not permanent). I don't look at porn at all, but I still visit DOMAI as much as before.



[Below is the last set of responses to the "guilt letter".]


I've often thought back to my youth where in junior high a buddy of mine provided me with copies of his dad's Playboy magazines. I was so stunned and happy with them and read them from cover to cover. Shortly after acquiring a number of these magazines my sister moved out to go to college and as the oldest of four boys, I got my own bedroom that I did not have to share with my brothers.

Within a few weeks I started hanging the centerfolds around the room. I don't know why I did this. Heck I was a preacher's kid (aka PK). But my father was now in business having left the world of preaching. So he didn't have to worry about the parishioners objecting to my private display. When it came to my parents' attention that I had done this first my Mom came to survey the room. She said they were very pretty ladies and did not say much more. Then my Dad came to talk to me. I was pleased that he was very open and decent about it. He asked me why I hung the centerfolds in my room and I said because they were so beautiful. We talked about the differences between the women and some astonishing attributes that one had including the smallest waist with the largest breasts I've ever seen. My dad wasn't even sure it was possible.

Flash forward; I'm now baby boomer approaching retirement. I've been married to my lovely wife for over 30 years. The kids are married and on their own. Suzy and I have beautiful art in the master bedroom that incorporates nudes, mostly mermaids. There are copies of Playboy magazines in the bathroom reading stand which we both read. And my favorite 'nudie' site, as we used to call them, is DOMAI. Friday's are one of the many highlights of my week because I get to read another story about the beauty and the appreciation of the naked female body.

I have noticed that I am very casual around nude people in person, art and entertainment. But some of my friends are extremely sensitive to nudity. I noticed this when a friend of mine was mesmerized by a picture of another friend's daughter with her cheerleader friends with their midriffs showing. He couldn't stop staring, and I thought, here is a married guy who doesn't have 'permission' to view nudity. So the littlest thing is so erotic that he kind of comes off track.

In America we don't see very much nudity on television or in public. But based on my time in Europe that wasn't the case. I look forward to the day when nudity is more acceptable than violence in the arts. Fortunately I live in Seattle which has the bohemian artists who parade in the painted nude once a year for the Fremont Summer Solstice parade. And although I am not an activist nor a nudist myself, I do appreciate the art and the statement of freedom.

Cheers, James


Dear TV:

You're a young man. You're going to masturbate. (The fact that you don't have money to spend on other forms of entertainment makes it even more likely that you'll spend a chunk of your free time in this solitary pleasure.) Masturbating with the inspiration of the DOMAI girls in your mind seems healthier than a lot of the images of women that are available -- not to mention more respectful toward female beauty and dignity.

While I agree that there's a world of difference between DOMAI's images (or "fine art" nudes) and harcore porn, I also think that there's no clean-cut line between art and erotica and porn, or between appreciation of beauty and sexual arousal. I see this in photo communities like flickr, where some people make a big deal about a given community including art nudes but excluding amateur porn, but I've watched some of the "amateur porn/look at my hot wife" people develop their sensibilities and start moving from crude snapshots toward more aesthetically refined images. They may have a long way to go, but they're on their way.

One of the main virtues of DOMAI, I feel, is that these young women are real people. Sure, we're looking at their naked bodies for one form or another of enjoyment, but they look like real people with real personalities, which is more than you can say for most porn.

The fact that you ask the questions you ask in your letter tells me that you have a moral sense and a respect for female beauty. But you know, from an evolutionary standpoint, women are good-looking so that men will have sex with them and propogate the species. You're an intellectual and spiritual being, but you're also an animal with millions of years of evolution behind you. You wouldn't be here today if not for an unbroken chain of males sexually aroused by females.

Sexuality is very complicated. Finding the best way to relate to your fellow human beings is a lifelong project. You don't know what is the right way to think about a given facet of life until you try it out, at least in your own imagination. You're using DOMAI as part of your education in your personal quest to define the proper role of sexuality in your relation to the world, and that seems perfectly reasonable and healthy to me.

Best of luck, Sean


Been a while since I have written. I wanted to offer some random responses to a question posed in the newsletter:

"My question for other readers of is: Is it a perversion of beauty if I use it for masturbation?"

One often masturbates because they find the subject attractive, and given the opportunity, would probably have some form of sex with the subject if given the opportunity. Does engaging in sexual activity with another make that person any less beautiful?

Often state of mind and other biological variables take part in the desire to masturbate to a given image. If you see the same image the next day, is the desire still there? What has really changed? Certainly not the subject.

Beauty is one of many ingredients to sexual attraction. Without it, our species wouldn't last too long.

I'll stop now before my ramblings get too abstract.



Dear E, TV brings up a terrific notion. Nudity, beauty, masturbation and guilt may relate in different ways. Is the nude an expression of sex, beauty, excitement, tease and fulfillment? I believe all are possible and more. It can stir other very unpleasant feelings or memories. The former "good" feelings can prompt one to please himself or herself in the process of experiencing the nude photograph, mental image, sight or touch. I think the guilt of masturbating after seeing or feeling nudity that evokes personal pleasure is about the act and not the nudity. DOMAI beauty evokes pleasure in me and masturbating in the presence of that beauty can heighten the entire beautiful experience.

Dear Domai, I'd like to respond to TV's letter (Friday, 4-13-07). I am also a person who surfs the web for self gratification. I was once a member of Domai and found myself lacking funds so had to cancel my subscription. I haven't been on the net for several years because of financial situations I got myself into but have recently got back online but still can't afford to subscribe to any services. In years past, I subscribed to many sites, but was by far my favorite. Yes, there is porn, a lot, out there. But how can anyone not find the simple, tasteful nudes of Domai not attractive or sexually stimulating. These are women revealed in the way "God" intended. I'm sure that the founder has gotten as many, if not more, hassles than he has praises but if, in any species, the opposite didn't attract someone, or something, as the case may be, there would be no species to speak of. The birds and butterflies have vibrant colors; cats and dogs release pheromones(sp?); reptiles like alligators and crocodiles, even though hideous to us, make sounds and vibrations to attract other alligators or crocodiles. Why shouldn't we, as people of the opposite sex (possibly even the same sex) be turned on to this. Even though these photos are presented to us, the reader of Domai, as art, I believe they can still be viewed as attractive, beautiful young women in the purest form. You can have all the porn sites you want, I'll take the beauty that is Domai over that any day. These tasteful, classy photos are one of the biggest turn-ons you will ever see, in my oppinion. I will one day subscribe again for both a vision of lovelyness and self gratification.

Signed, TS


With regard to the recent correspondence, I have to say that I politely but profoundly disagree with SD. The Bible (by which I take it is means basically the books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy) contains *no* explicit prohibitions of sex outside marriage, masturbation, or seeing people naked (the uncovering nakedness prohibitions have to do with incest), and only one of a (male) homosexual practice. All the rest is *interpretation* by religious leaders, often misconceived (Onan was not killed for masturbating, but for refusing to father children on his dead brother's widow, who would count as bis brother's and so continue his brother's household) and generally reflecting the social mores in which the leaders, like everyone else, were brought up, if not trying to impose new restrictions and prohibitions. I speak as someone who ceased to be religious a very long time ago. I cannot conceive that a being of such unimaginable power as to be able to create matter and life should have the remotest interest in imposing such petty rules of behaviour on the most developed of its creations. But it is a common human pattern of behaviour to claim divine sanction for "the way things are" - though the Greeks didn't do it for most of their laws and rules of social behaviour.

Best wishes, Oliver D


The letter from TV (4/13) speaks of many feelings, including guilt, in response to pictures of women, but the one word that is mentioned only once is "pleasure". He has pleasure in looking at beautiful women, until he becomes sexually excited, and then the pleasure becomes guilt. He asks: "Is it a perversion of beauty if I use it for masturbation?" He also says he can masturbate and then go to sleep without guilt. Yet he feels guilt if he masturbates to beauty, not to "porn" (what ever that is)

I suggest his catholic guilt is very active in providing the classical separation of Madonna and Whore, also known as Good Girls Don't or other such ideas. Until he understands that even the "good" girls of Domai probably have a happy and active sex life, just not on camera for his use, and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, he will continue to argue with himself over what is "right'. He cannot see beauty in "porn" because he sees sex, and has been carefully taught that sexual pleasure is wrong.

The pleasure of sex is, by law in the US, restricted to legally married heterosexual couples. The rest of the population, especially the younger people, are told to be non-sexual. Our friend TV is, like so many people, a victim in America's War on Sex, which occurs in other parts of the world as well. (See Marty Klein's excellent book on this.) Thank goodness we are not a very law-abiding nation in this respect.

Domai is included with all the other web sites that would be banned if the anti-pleasure folks had their way. The anti-pleasure forces would not see any difference between Domai and "hardcore porn".

I hope that TV will come to realize that he, as well as the women on Domai, and people in his everyday life, are really human beings worthy of love and pleasure and good sex.

Dave H


I think Eolake would have some very solid advice for TV. Still I thought I could take up some of the questions that he asked just because he has asked what a lot of viewers have experienced and left unspoken. TV, you are frank and honest about your needs and experiences. That is good. And you have a romantic soul that longs to be fulfilled. You have been inspired by the "power and the beauty" of DOMAI. Obviously, you are just the kind of guy for whom DOMAI was created, for whom WOMAN was created. To put it crudely for a minute, you beat yourself but you don't have to beat yourself up about it. Underneath it all, you have an idealized view of women that may be keeping you from entertaining one of these dazzling creatures for yourself. You have begun to realize that sexual gratification in itself is stale, but necessary. Rest easy, you are not alone. We are talking millions like you, like us. You understand that when it comes to "final answers" about powerful emotions, there aren't any final answers. Just as there will probably never be the final orgasm, or the last word in beauty of a woman. It's a smorgasbord of opinions and attitudes and a feast for the senses. Take the guilt out and you lose some of the "thrill". Put the guilt in and you ask, "Is it wrong?" If you can put your predilections aside, you may realize it's about all those things. It's a totality of life that you are engaged with and coming into terms with it. Fundamentally, your question about "Is it a perversion of beauty if I use it for masturbation?" is a question about "self". If I can, I will try to explain what I mean.

Beauty is a powerful emotion and sexual gratification has with it a huge sense of pleasure and cathartic release. Neither of these it seems to me admits of defilement. Am I right? Hence where does that sense of wrong enter in? It comes from the self-interest that is closely associated with all of our motives and actions. Am I a giving, loving person? Or am I a selfish gutless slob? I want to know. It's very important that I know. I have to know what is the sum total of all my actions. Do I mean anything in this universe when my whole being is compressed into a great encompassed longing for release and "satisfaction" (in the sense of the Rolling Stones song)? (Mick and Keith had it right.) Well before Mick and Keith, there were the Greeks and the Oracle of Delphi who said it in two words, "Know Thyself". It is all about self knowledge. Love and relationship is all for this one totality of self knowledge. And remember, your self knowledge includes her self knowledge. Both are seeking self knowledge. Knowing this, you will find peace. Not knowing this...the history of mankind tells that story better than anyone can explain. Good luck to you.


TV's letter posted Friday past poses a question for comment by other readers: "Is it a perversion of beauty if I use it (the Domai content) for masturbation?" Later he poses a second question, "Is that a purpose (even if it's a secondary one) of I don't know. But I'm feeling guilty even mentioning it, as if I'm perverting it further."

My sense is that the questions are based on the following premises:

Masturbation is inherently perverted.

A boundary exists between what is sexual and what is not.

Sexuality cannot be beautiful.

Your intended purposes in the creation of the site are relevant to his use of it.

In my opinion, none of those premises is valid.

"Perverted" refers to a sexual practice or act considered "abnormal or deviant." It seems clear that all men and a huge percentage of women masturbate, so that it cannot be abnormal. Since deviant means "markedly different from an accepted norm," the underlying premise then reduces to "accepted" by some person or group whose acceptance matters. Overlooking for the moment whether those who publicly deem it deviant are hypocrites in their own privacy, which 100% activity by males would seem to suggest, only TV can decide for himself whether the deviant designation is relevant to his life. I would like to extend to TV the affirmation it most certainly is not to me or to most of the people who matter to me.

I hope I am not indeed quibbling with a choice of words and would thus invite further comment if I have misperceived TV's intended use of "perverted."

Many activities have both sexual and non-sexual aspects, which may or may not be concurrent and which may have widely varying proportions. Nudity is an excellent example: it is not required but often present during sexual activity, it is widely practiced for hygienic purposes, and bath or shower is often the venue for their combination.

Dancing is another such example. In reality, dancing, clothed or unclothed, virtually always has both a sexual and a non-sexual activity. The perceived balance varies widely with Swan Lake at one supposed extreme and a table dance at the other, unless of course Swan Lake is performed in the nude and the table dance in a tutu. I note, however, that Carmina Burana was widely viewed as erotic by the same people with whom I attended Swan Lake the month before, although performed by the same troupe at the same place. I do not recall anyone suggesting that the line and form somehow lacked beauty.

Unquestionably as vocalized by the Victorians, sexual conduct reduces humans to the animal kingdom. However, the population of England seems to have increased during that period, almost certainly due to the disparaged activities. Although I know a distressing number of people whose thought processes remain in those times, I know as many that believe that the line between art and pornography has been forever blurred, with Robert Mapplethorpe I suspect being the one who took the first step. Natacha Merritt Digital Diaries is a more contemporary example of yesterday's pornography being today's cutting edge.

I will leave the final word on the last premise to you, but had I posted the Domai images, it would have been with the intention that the beholder view them with enjoyment or disdain, as the case my be, from his view point, although it would be flattering to think that my motives mattered. At the same time, I do not feel that any purpose is indeed required although quite obviously without some purpose you would not have taken the time to do it.

Your beginning comments with regard to guilt complete the circle. In that regard there is much hope for TV as, in the words of Charlie Weaver who, when asked "as you grow older which of your senses is the first to go," replied "my sense of decency."

David H


I'm guessing you must be getting an overflow of letters recently, since everyone is so keen to respond to TV's letter about guilt. I just thought I'd write because of my slight variation of the popular viewpoint.

I've seen from many letters that people tend to visit DOMAI because it is different from all the porn sites out there, and even compared to the more artistic sites DOMAI offers something that is truly special. But many people still like to visit the porn sites when they're in the mood for what they offer. Before TV's letter, there seemed to be this perception that porn is for sexual stimulation and DOMAI is for appreciation, and that they each provide their own thing. If you want to witness simple beauty, visit DOMAI, but if you want to be turned on by women's sexual qualities, check out some pornography.

But I never liked pornography. I always thought it was just disgusting how much it degraded women. I don't mean to attack people who like pornography: I'm just saying it's not for me. So DOMAI was a place I could go when I wanted to see beautiful naked women, fulfilling a part of that basic male desire. DOMAI IS what works for me. The philosophy of the site always seemed to be about non-sexual appreciation of beauty, and I certainly did appreciate it, but DOMAI also happened to be the most arousing thing on the internet for me.

I don't see how TV could feel guilty when DOMAI is all about how LOOKING at women is the right thing to do. One of the most attractive things about DOMAI is how you can view the most beautiful women completely nude and not only feel absolutely guiltless, but actually feel good about yourself for doing it.

~ Kyle D.


My wife is extremely modest and, during our 40 years of marriage, it has only been on vary rare occasions that I have see her fully naked except in dim light. She never wears a bikini. She always wears a swim suit with a "skirt", and I don't often see her even with just bra and panties, and then only with her back to me. At night she puts on her sleeping gown before taking off her bra and panties and adroitly removes them from underneath.

When we were younger we took showers together. She would step in behind me and she would wash my back and then turn (before I turned) and had me wash her back. She was careful when we were facing each other to be close enough together that I didn't have a view of her genitals. Now and then we would take baths in the tub together and she would insist that she get in first and I would get in behind her and later get out first. She would sit between my legs with her back towards me in the tub.

She locks the door when she is in the bathroom naked, but once she forgot to lock the door, and when I entered she was kneeling side of the tub bent over washing the tub.  That was one of the few times in 40 years of marriage that I got a clear view of her genitals in bright light. That image is burned indelibly on my brain. I only "ogled" her crotch for a couple seconds and hesitated too long to close the door before she discovered that I had seen her. She was somehow aware of me and turned and she glanced back at me over her shoulder before I could avert my eyes from her crotch area. I said, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry -- the door was unlocked" (actually it was not just unlocked but was slightly ajar.)
"Its Ok -- my fault", she said, and then she went back to washing the tub without asking me to close the door.  I was embarrassed, but took a couple more seconds to gop before closing the door. (She started to turn her head back toward me again at which point I finally closed the door.) She was kind of red faced and quiet afterwards, and she avoided eye contact for a while.  However, the incident seemed to have excited her somewhat --  soon afterwards we had a "matinee" and during our "foreplay" phase she asked me if I liked what I saw. I was shocked that she brought it up.

It is ironic that, through the years, I have seen other woman's genitals (accidently in many cases) far more frequently than I have seen my wife's. For the most part, I have had extended views of naked female genitalia only on the few occasions I have visited "gentleman's clubs" where they bare all. One place in Montreal which I visited along with a couple male friends has cocktail waitresses who are completely nude except for their feet and a little fanny pack around their waist.

I can honestly say that with but one exception I have never used any of the images from your site as an "inspiration" for masturbation, In fact, I was a somewhat surprised to find that anyone else used them for this. I have an vivid imagination and my fantasies about my wife or about real woman that I personally know or have known in the past are adequate for the purpose of "inspiration." I do have mild feelings of lust aroused by perhaps 1 in 5 of the Domai images (and it has more to do with their face and facial expression than with how much they are revealing.) I consider your images as "eye candy".

I actually get more sexual arousal from watching female skaters that are NOT totally nude than I do from the nudes presented at your site.
I might be able to get off with 3D still pictures or moving pictures, but viewing still images does not do that much for me with regards to sexual arousal and Eros.

As far as guilt -- even though I was brought up in strict Catholic family and community and attended a convent school for grades 1-8 (and even served as an alter boy), I decided very early in life that neither guilt or shame were "my bag", and I absolutely refuse to feel guilty about anything. If I needed photos of naked woman to "get off" I would use them, and NOT feel a drop guilty about it -- I just don't need them and even though I am nearly 70 years old I masturbate routinely 4 or 5 times per week and I consider it vital to the health of my prostate gland as well as pleasurable -- and sometimes I don't even need to "fantasize" a sexual occasion to get off -- the pleasurable feeling itself is sufficient to do the job.

   When I consider how people think that modesty is somehow a spiritual virtue, I think of that line from the little cannibal when a missionary told him that it was wrong to eat people and told him to not let another person past his lips. "But Padre" the little boy countered, "if the great Jub Jub had not meant for us to eat people he wouldn't have made us of meat!

There is just way too much "Taboo" attached to sex and nudity and all that!!! I think modesty is great and has its perks (especially for wives with their husbands), but I like exhibitionism even better!



I find the discussion about guilt very interesting. It is clear that everyone has a different experience with DOMAI and guilt. I wanted to respond with my experience with pornography, DOMAI and guilt.

I have never felt much guilt about much of anything. There are a few things I've done for which I've felt guilt, remorse, and regret, but these things are limited in number. None of them have to do with pornography or DOMAI. I've been viewing pornography since my friends and I were able to find Hustler, Playboy, Penthouse and other magazines discarded along the highway where I grew up. We took these treasures and hid them in the woods near the junkyard about 3 blocks from home (over a hill that had not yet been developed), to keep them hidden from others and, we hoped, dry and readable. I don't think any of us ever masturbated over these magazines, but we enjoyed looking at them. They were taboo, after all, and we weren't supposed to have them. We never dared take them back to our homes, either. We were maybe twelve years old.

To this day, I enjoy looking at such magazines, and had two subscriptions for a year each to Playboy and Fox. I didn't much care for Playboy, still don't. But "real men" read Playboy. It's a world wide and world famous brand. But the women in their pages have been airbrushed, altered, some have had breast implants (Pam Anderson to name just one), and I find them entirely too surreal to be real. Those women would never have anything to do with me. They are unattainable. I didn't even fantasize about them, masturbate over them, etc. The photos in Fox, however, I appreciated. Sometimes the featured models are fake, with implants, but sometimes they're not. I masturbated to every issue of Fox I ever possessed. They always had plenty of photos and variety of models, positions, situations, etc. Fox created many fantasies for its reader, to help them masturbate, place them into the scene (some photos are taken from the angle of the male model in the photo), make them voyeurs. It was easy to imagine that any particular model was anyone I might meet - they are attainable, and so they are fantasy and masturbation material. They continue to be, if I pick up an issue.

Then we have DOMAI. I read the weekly newsletter every week. I never miss it. If it is late, or perceived to be late, I notice that it is late. I read every issue (though it doesn't have much content), because the letters and articles are interesting, as they debate the merits of DOMAI, and the accompanying photos are always well done and the models happy, attractive, at ease. This is where I find the beauty in DOMAI. The models are beautiful, but I cannot imagine them in sexual positions. I just don't need to. I appreciate the shapes of their faces, breasts, backs, buttocks, legs, calves. I appreciate their hairstyles. They are each unique, trying to be nothing more than themselves. The variety and possibilities in a few features makes me wonder at the world. How can there be so many different eyes, faces, breasts, nipples, midriffs, hands, pubic mounds, thighs? It just astonishes me. I've never felt a twinge of a growing erection while visiting DOMAI. I feel compelled to study the women's features, appreciate each model. This, I find, helps me appreciate the fine features of women I meet every day, their shapes, their colors, their personalities.

In fact, I think it is personality that is the sexual additive for me. A woman with no personality, such as those found in Playboy, are no turn on. But the models with personality, they are attractive. In Fox, the models personalities are presented to be sexual, f*&kable, enjoyed carnally. The women of DOMAI are sexy, yes, but not sexual. They do not sit with their legs spread gaping open, masturbating themselves or anyone else, squeezing their nipples, etc. They are not in a sexual posture or environment. So I guess I do not find them sexually stimulating. I find that I'm able to gaze at them as long as I wish without being uncomfortable, or feeling that I'm staring, which is often considered rude. So I appreciate them all the more in that they have allowed their photo to be taken to be looked at by an admiring audience of men and women. That must be titillating for them, perhaps. But I imagine that being photographed respectfully also makes them feel more comfortable with themselves, and more beautiful, too.

As I've noted, everyone is different, and uses pornography and DOMAI for their own purposes. I find it interesting how such a simple thing as nudity can arouse such discussion week after week after week. I enjoy reading about other readers DOMAI moments, and learning from them, and like the women of DOMAI, no two are alike. That variety is also interesting.

Kudos to DOMAI, its photographers, its models, and to the readers who keep sharing their thoughts and experiences.

Mike S.

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