Try something milder like "I like your new haircut" or "that's a beautiful shirt on you". They'll know what you mean.
Generally, a little goes a long way. Just a direct look and a sincere smile may lift somebody's spirit.
It's like with people who have been dangerously exposed to cold. You don't dump them into hot water, that'll give shock. You start with cold water, it'll feel hot to them.
How is it that so many women cannot see their own beauty? A few days ago I had a conversation with a beautiful woman who was complaining about her body after the birth of several kids. Isn't if funny that most women complain of difficulty shedding some of the extra pounds that they pick up during pregnancy?
My problem with her complaint is that she is such a beautiful woman. If you asked 10 guys off the street what they thought of this womans beauty today, 5 would say that she is simply lovely, 4 would say she is drop-dead gorgeous, and the last would just need a new pair of glasses. I felt it was as if Paul McCartney were complaining that hes not famous enough. How totally untrue!
One reason I love Domai is that the women shown on the site are confident enough to let themselves be photographed in all their natural beauty for us fortunate viewers. These Domai women dont come in some single cookie-cutter image of what beautiful should look like. They are all uniquely beautiful, coming in all different sizes and shapes: Some are pert and bubbly, others more long and lanky. Some are just plain cute, and still others are attractive in a more elegant way. Many are simply girl-next-door pretty. But most of them seem to be quite comfortable in their skin. So they are willing to share their beauty with us.
But I think women with this sort of confidence are rather the minority in the world. So I have a question: How many of the women among our Domai viewers struggle to see yourselves as beautiful? And if so, why is that? Thats where I have trouble wrapping my brain around it: Does Queen Latifah complain because she doesnt have the same figure as Madonna? No! Clearly they both have very different kinds of beauty, but each of them is quite beautiful just the same! So why the problem?
I think I have at least part of an answer: For those women who do see yourselves as beautiful, (even if you are not perfect in the eyes of some beauty authority), I ask you: Is there someone in your life, especially an appreciative man, who makes you feel that you are beautiful? I am guessing that the women who feel confident of their own beauty do so especially because their beauty is deeply appreciated by someone in their lives, in particular (though not always) the man she loves.
I have some experience to support this: I have been a photographer for a number of years. And in that time, I have had the privilege of shooting a number of women in the nude. Most were like Domai women ~ real women, girls-next-door, rather than professional models. Each had their own imperfections - (at least in the eyes of the glamour magazine editors). But they also had their own special gifts and glory.
Most of these women clearly began their photo session rather shy in front of the camera. However, by the end of the session, each of them expressed that they felt more beautiful. And they themselves noticed a visible different sort of self-confidence in the images taken towards the end of the session, as compared to the beginning. Their bodies hadnt changed in the course of the few short hours of the photo-shoot. I believe at least in part their inner change was due to my sincere expression of awe and joy at being privileged to see their full beauty - generously revealed in front of me and the camera. Not someone elses beauty, and not some imaginary ideal of beauty. But their real beauty.
Showing that sort of appreciation is something that anyone can do. So guys out there, I challenge you: Find out if the women in your life - and especially the woman you love - knows that she is beautiful. Make sure she knows that you see and appreciate her beauty! I am talking about generous and sincere praise of her real beauty. Practice. Start with the check-out girl in the grocery store, the attendant at the motor-vehicle department, or any woman who is in your life for even a short time. Notice their beauty and mention at least something to them about it. Then make sure that the love-of-your-life knows how beautiful you see her!
Finally, a word of thanks: to the Domai girls ~ you lovely women who boldly and so generously share your beauty with all of us. Your beauty inspires so many of us to visit Domai, and keep on coming back over and over again. I feel like I almost know some of you. Thank you for sharing. Thanks as well to the Domai photographers who see and capture the beauty of these women so well. And thanks to you, Eolake, for making it possible for all of us to enjoy this beauty.
I just got through reading this week's newsletter from MJ. My first reaction was, "clearly whoever wrote this must not live in the United States. If he did, he'd have been labeled a 'pervert' or maybe even 'creepy' and had the cops called on him." On the other hand, if he's talking about folks from other countries, I'd heartily agree with him.
I am hoping that members of both genders might over time learn 1) not to be ashamed of admiring/complimenting/looking at the opposite sex, and 2) not to take such admiration as an attack, but rather as a compliment.
Benjamin said, in part:
(Note: if you want to add your two cents, I've made a post about it on my blog, and you can comment under it. Just for one thing I've addressed the nationality issue there.)